Tycho Brahe: A Made-Up Poem

Most people don't know that
Kepler murdered Tycho Brahe
For reasons political and planetary,
And published a false report
Of his death, in which he
Attributed a humiliating end to him,
In which the astronomer,
Too embarrassed to leave the
Banquet table, perished
When his bladder exploded.

Most people don't know
Who Tycho Brahe is.

Maybe Kepler
Should have invented something
More shocking.
Died gorging himself on
Phosphorescent fish heads perhaps,
Expiring in a gluttonous halo
Of marine freaks.
But just for the halibut,
And on the other hand,
Maybe Kepler was well aware of
Possible and dangerous
Posthumous fame for his rival.
He reported falsehood well, then.

Most people do not know
Who Tycho Brahe is.

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